Thursday, August 26, 2004

Reflections on Seperation

Michele is leaving her husband after 20 years...
20 years...she said they stayed together for the kids, but they knew 10 years ago.
She married him at 30 - she wanted children and figured that he would be a good father. He was, but a terrible husband...for twenty years.

She said she was tired.
Tired of waiting to be important enough to him for him to want to make an effort...
Tired of being the only one that thought there was something worng...
Tired of feeling like she was his parent....waiting up for him to get home from having fun with his buddies...
Tired of lowering her expectations...
Tired of being dissaponted...
Tired of carrying him for so long...
and growing resentful and feeling invisible...

He would have been happy if nothing changed in his marriage...she was invisible.
She is buying out his share of the house and sending him on his way...

How awful to spend that long with someone who didn't have fun with you, that didn't share with you, didn't have the same dream with you.

I am told that when women reach their 50s that men and marriage become less and less important...choosing instead to be independent.

I am still trying to distill the lesson here.

1 comment:

MJ said...

A very powerful collection of words. Thank you for sharing them.