When I was old enough to tie my shoes I remember feeling the free wind on my cheeks as my mother swung me around, my hands held tightly in hers. I felt as if she may never stop taking care of me. It never dawned on me that I would have to make my own way in the world wihtout my mother holding my hands tightly so that I might not fall. I didn't anticipate the need, so many years later at 16, to escape those same hands to feel free to become someone.
I struggled every year after that; doing what I needed to do to survive, but never having the stability to think about who I would become and how. So with so much time under me I am still hoping to become...but when I write and create and try to articulate all that made me who I am right now, I feel that thrill of being swung, arms wide in the wind, with my own strong hands holding me.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
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