Love and life are fleeting and forever...

It is almost the end of 2010 and in this time I have taken my passion to new levels. I am doing things I only dreamed about. With an insatiable taste for life and fulfillment over the past couple of years, I have experienced joy and love in ways I thought I never would again. When this life is over, it will be over, it will mean little as time passes. If our moments, as powerful, beautiful and amazing as they are simply dissapear, then all we have is the sweetness of a moment in the moment...it has taken me my lifetime to know this. I want to experience so much more in my life...I am deeply grateful and have great gratitiude for the grace of others that has brought me to this point and hope that I might inspire someone as I have been inspired...in love, art and sport.

It's a New Year

I am looking forward to a special year this 2009. The powerful experience of giving birth to a son and losing a brother leaves me irreparably changed. I immerse myself in the tiniest moments - I inhale them knowing that they are gone almost as soon as they come. The smell of my daughter's hair when she snuggles in the morning, the sweet smile on the baby's face when he sees me. His laugh. My daughter dancing. The wind. A warm bath with lavender. I am grateful for the awareness that I might otherwise have not had. 2009 will be embraced by me, one moment at a time, with gratefulness.

Taken at the height of his life

I lost my brother last week. Suddenly. We were not close, but it doesn't seem to matter or make it easier. I have discovered that we were similar, but in different circles. I don't like getting to know him in reverse...it's unnatural. He was supposed to be here to bury our mother with me. Instead, he is gone and taken a piece of her with him. Am I angry about that? Yes. He was taken early, butit was preventable. But there are not justifications or reasons that will be good enough for the universe to rewind and let him try again. I spent time trying to create a good reason. He should have worn his seatbelt...well so what...it doesn't change anything. the driver, should never have been driving....or driving that car..but it doesn't bring him back.

Each morning I wake up and the silence is full with...something...birds, waves, wind...and a silence behind it that is the vacuum where my brother exists now. Everything has changed and nothing has changed.

I long for the time we will not have to grow closer. He was expecting a child that he will never know in this world. I hope he will be able to see his child from where he is. We would have something amazing in common that would transcend everything we didn't.

Seeing his body made it real and not real...just true. Still. He was never still till this moment.

He was well loved by his friends and I am comforted to know he was happy. He looked very proud doing his work, happily in love and at the height of his life.

Seven lifetimes

I need to have at least seven lifetimes to accomplish everything I'd like. In one lifetime, I would be an artist. I would have a studio in a small town where I would paint and draw and create. In another, I'd be a photojournalist living in the remote west coast and travelling the word on assignment only to come back to rainforest to recharge. I'd be a photographer. I would be a midwife and a doula. I would be a gallery owner in Montreal. I would be a mother...and nothing else -unfragmented by career and creative pursuits. I would be a travel writer single and fancifree.

But I only have one lifetime and so I'm exhausting myself to pack it all in...

Hey you with my name!

So there is a girl in Ypsilanti who is a disgrace to our name...I google my name and...Alcohol infraction...what?! in where? Ypsilanit..and fails to produce her license... how does anyone end upw tiht exact same name as me..and she is obviously a loose canon...What will she do next?? Behave yourself little miss Melanie ...

Viva la Sangria!

Before I get into posting my favorite Sangria Recipe, I just wanted to share this highly awesome wine tasting guide (link above). I bought 2 while in the Baross and I find it really makes wine tasting much more interesting... without it...how would I know the Reisling tasted like pencil shavings from a grade two classroom?

Now for the Sangria: Best Party Sangria Recipe

This Sangria recipe is perfect for big summer parties - always a favorite, you may consider doubling the recipe.

INGREDIENTS:
1 Bottle of red wine (Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Rioja, Zinfandel, Shiraz)
1 Lemon cut into wedges
1 Orange cut into wedges
1 Lime cut into wedges
2 Tbsp sugar
Splash of orange juice
2 Shots of gin
1 Cup of sliced strawberries or raspberries (may use thawed or frozen)
1 Small can of diced pineapples (with juice)
4 Cups ginger ale

PREPARATION:
Pour wine in the pitcher and squeeze the juice wedges from the lemon, orange and lime into the wine. Toss in the fruit wedges (leaving out seeds if possible) and pineapple then add sugar, orange juice and gin.

Chill overnight. Add ginger ale, berries and ice just before serving. If you'd like to serve right away, use chilled red wine and serve over lots of ice. However, remember that the best Sangrias are chilled around 24 hours in the frig. - allowing the flavors to really marinate into each other.

Party on!

On creating modern art

I am not interested in emotions, but in wishes - I know what I want. I believe that the 'I know what I want' approach clearly characterises the current generation as well. Moreover, I as a viewer understand what they want. I often cannot grasp what is being expressed - the author is vague and confusing on purpose. In the new wave of painting the artists have a firm wish to say something and they know how to say it; they have the skill to formulate idea and message. Idea is essential, as we can often see works at exhibitions without any founding idea, only a wish to 'do something'. The 'I know what I want' quality is, at least for me, the most important.

Andres Tolts
(1949) is a painter and collage artist who emerged on the Estonian art scene in the second half of the 1960s, as one of the most outstanding avant-garde and pop artists